


A Ballad of Adversity

by Sanctioned_Chaos



Series: Destruction Blooms In Silence (And The Moments In Between) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Daichi and Hinata are mentioned, I feel good about the material though, I love Suga so much Idk why I'm making him suffer, Just angst, Like I feel bad, Mainly Sugawara, Metaphors, Not the good kind, Please Don't Hate Me, This is Depresssing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 00:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7736620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanctioned_Chaos/pseuds/Sanctioned_Chaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara doesn't cry. He is too empty to hold even tears.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.</p><p>ANGST. 469 words of it.<br/>Ya'll this is not a happy fluffy fic, just warning you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Ballad of Adversity

**Author's Note:**

> Sugawara's thoughts on himself. Let me just go ahead and say, I am so sorry. I love Suga mama and I feel so bad for this but at the same time I really, really like it. I also feel bad for how short this one-shot is, but it felt right keeping the length where it's at. Don't hate me, guys. Cause I love all of you, and your hate would just depress me even further than writing this story already has.

Sugawara Koushi is not a genius. At best, he’s moderately talented. He doesn’t have the undeniable skill and precision Kageyama Tobio has, or the natural athletic instincts and speedy reflexes of Hinata Shouyo. 

On his best days he thinks himself a necessary part of the team. A welcomed comrade. Even, the beating heart of Karasuno. 

On his worst days, he knows that’s a lie. If anyone were the beating heart of Karasuno, it would be Hinata. The first-year had a way of brightening up everyone’s days with his rampant enthusiasm. When a game got particularly disheartening, Shouyo was right there with his loud laugh and even louder words of encouragement. Of challenge.

He knows himself to be a coward. Sugawara Koushi, the Cowardly Crow. 

He doesn’t say it out loud, his teammates would just take it upon themselves to convince him otherwise. But they don’’t need their backup setter distracting them with his ‘imagined’ issues. 

Sometimes he thinks Daichi notices. He is the captain after all, it’s his job to know his team. But Suga’s not dumb. He knows what to do when he sees the familiar furrowing of dark eyebrows. He smiles, wide as he can-- as if he’s not breaking, crumbling into nothingness-- because he doesn’t want to worry his best friend. Because they will make it to Nationals, even if Sugawara merely rides their feathers, never knowing the sensation of true flight. 

There are days where Suga feels he is an outsider. As if he is only a spectator, cheering for a team he doesn’t really know. He is broken already. So broken he doesn’t think he could find the pieces of himself even if he wanted to, but then he hears their victorious cries. Sees Hinata’s wide, unabashedly happy smile, smells the heavy scent of sweat and volleyball, feels the warmth the team exudes at all their efforts being paid off. 

And he breaks even further. 

Because he’s seeing Hinata’s smile from behind a towering pane of solid glass. The fragrances of the sport he used to have the ability to love wholeheartedly, have gone stale, and remain nearly unrecognizable. And the warmth he feels is not warmth. It is heat, heat that scorches his skin and dries his throat to the point of dehydration. 

He chokes on the rancid air, hands bleeding as they pound in futility at the transparent, yet oh-so-unbreakable, immovable obstacle in front of him. His skin comes off in flakes. Crow’s feathers freeing themselves from their undeserving host. 

His friends’ joyous calls are distant, but he smiles at them in return. He is hollow. Empty. But they see him as full, beckoning him over. Full of life and love, and happiness. So Sugawara pretends. The Crow dons his false feathers. They are the only things he has that he deserves.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. But don't worry. Suga won't be sad forever, I promise. This is only the first part of the series. He WILL be happy. Because I fully intend on slash. And Fluff. Reviews are greatly appreciated and will encourage the author to write more and post sooner. So please review. Hope you guys liked it and are willing to stick around. I also hope this wasn't ooc.


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